Groove Armada breeze into odd new deal, sink to new depths
Words Jeremiah James
Embarrassing pop house twonks Groove Armada have signed a deal with the drinks giant Bacardi. Not content with getting orange women shit-faced, the booze company has moved into the musical sphere, as they all do eventually in some shape or form, usually to the determent of ears everywhere. The Groovesome twosome, as they’re hopefully not known, recently came to the end of their recording contract with SonyBMG imprint Jive.
“After Groove Armada’s tenth anniversary year of huge gigs, we were looking for ways to take things to another level,” said Andy Cato from the duo, which is media speak for being unemployed. “Working alongside Bacardi we have the chance to take the GA travelling show to new people and places, find innovative ways of getting our music out there, and keep the stories flowing for the GA Road Movie with Bacardi B-Live.”
That’s right kids, this person is apparently a creative type, not a shit-talking PR dolt devoid of soul, personality and with an IQ lower than a heftily-endowed Jack Russell’s testicles on the ground. With no legs.
Brand director Jeff McDonald sounds like a hippy in comparison. “What makes this deal ground-breaking is the depth of the relationship,” he smarmed. “Groove Armada and Bacardi will creatively work together in all areas from the planning right through to the delivery phases - we’ll see them performing live at our events, laying down tracks for our advertising and promotions and filming the experience along the way.”
What’s that rumbling sensation below my feet? Oh, it’s Bill Hicks turning in his fucking grave.
“This collaboration is particularly topical as artists and the music industry look for new business models and partners.”
Did you just read that as well? See you down the front at Lovebox. If I can resist shooting myself, then mine’s a Bacardi and coke please.
