Overdue Guns N’ Roses LP could be in the can
Words Jeremy Allen
There are apparently some people still interested in Guns N’ Roses’ errant, naughty boy of an album Chinese Democracy. The “masterpiece” was promised around 15 years ago, and since then Axl Rose has only teased us with its release like Michael Jackson teases a child stood outside Neverland, resplendent in black with a glove on holding a bag of cola cubes. It’s now 2008, and hopefully we’ve all moved on.
The Offspring once came up with a hilariously conceived publicity stunt, claiming they’d bring out a record called Chinese Democracy: You Snooze, You Lose. Apparently Axl didn’t see the funny side. Former band mates and now mortal enemies Slash, Duff and Matt have got on with the business of making average records under the moniker Velvet Revolver with the camp one from Stone Temple Pilots, while Rose has contented himself with dining out on a few good tunes he made in 1987 and only threatening to bring out the fabled offering.
His flirtation with the idea of bringing Guns N’ Roses back resulted in him hiring a guitarist called Buckethead - so called because he wore a KFC Family Bucket on his head. Axl, in the meantime, ate too much fried chicken and, without his headband, has begun to resemble Alan Brazil. He did release a few numbers from what is meant to be the record to little known American radio stations to try to re-engage interest, which of course got a few column inches and a few more exasperated sighs from men from southern USA who drive trucks and fuck chickens for a living.
So it comes as some surprise that drinks firm Dr Pepper, in a move that has “clever marketing strategy” written all over it, has thrown down the gauntlet and demanded Axl release the apocryphal album forthwith. In return, they’ll furnish each American alive with a free can of the fizzy drink. That’s close to the 300,000,000 mark, though the firm kiss-assing the badass Rose said Slash and Buckethead were excluded from the deal.
“As some of Buckethead’s performances are on our album, I’ll share my Dr Pepper with him,” said Axl shortly afterwards.
Hold fast America, it’s in the can as they say.
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