The Stool Pigeon

Faith No More have reformed, but it’s for his extensive solo work that this man deserves a Patton the back.

Words by Jeremy Allen

Mike Patton recently swung back into the consciousness of a whole bunch of people who still yearn for the collective teachings of The Face and Sky Magazine, lust for the unconsummated sexual frisson of Mulder and Scully and get wistful at the heady whiff of CK One and hot knives. The reformation of Faith No More for touring purposes following more than a decade’s hiatus prompted a predictable surge for tickets as Tarquin and Miranda dreamily recalled pogoing around the student union to ‘Epic’ in paratrooper boots and Alice In Chains t-shirts. For others, he never went away. His apparatchiks are numerous and they hang on every word projected pleasingly from his roomy and majestic diaphragm.

Patton clearly doesn’t believe in reincarnation, given his relentless pursuit to create in this life. Having accomplished rock icon status, he could have chosen to milk it for all it was worth and become some alternative Jon Bon Jovi. But all they share in common is an early penchant for disastrous hair as tenderfoot rock fledgelings and the fact that Patton will undoubtedly sleep when he’s dead. Indeed, to say the 21st century has been a productive period for Mike Patton is tantamount to saying Jeremy Kyle is a bit of a prick.

The Faith No More frontman’s musical projects are too abundant to list in full, but Fantômas, Tomahawk and Peeping Tom instantly trip off the tongue. He’s collaborated with Björk, Rahzel, Kool Keith, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Melt-Banana and Sepultura, and that’s just scratching the surface. He has his own record label, Ipecac, whose roster has included The Melvins, The Locust, Dälek, Kid606 and Ennio Morricone, to name but a few. He made an independent movie, Firecracker, where he played not one lead role but two. He’s in great demand as a voiceover artist, having added his talented larynx to various computer games, the film I Am Legend and the Adult Swim cartoon Metalocalypse. And in December 2008, he curated All Tomorrow’s Parties with the help of The Melvins, assembling one of the most leftfield and hip-hop-heavy line-ups the festival has ever enjoyed.

In among all this frenzied activity Patton found time to move to Italy, get married and become fluent in the language. While no longer enjoying conjugal felicity, he can still speak — and, more pertinently, sing — in Italian. Which brings us to his new release, Mondo Cane, a wildly ambitious collection that incorporates a 40-piece orchestra and that voice re-imagining some of his best loved songs in the Italian language, including the mighty and aforementioned Ennio Morricone and his classic ‘Deep Down’, as well as Gina Paoli’s ‘Senza Fine’ (famously covered by Connie Francis). He has uncharacteristically stamped his own name on this project (he usually deals in pseudonyms), and you get the sense this was a very personal and cathartic mission that perhaps brings closure to a chapter in his life. Amateur psychology aside, it is a joyous and life-affirming experience belying the title, which roughly translates as ‘life has gone to the dogs’ and, like Peeping Tom, it comes from a classic film — one that would be immediately recognisable to many an Italian.

Patton, we are informed, is keen not to talk about Faith No More today. In fact, the subject is off the record, which, given his propensity for spikiness, is observed. One can understand why he doesn’t want to be asked for the 3,000th time about when Faith No More might step back into the studio. As the Pixies have proved, reforming for nostalgia is very lucrative, and who should really care whether or not Faith No More ever record again when the filthy lucre earned from touring can afford a man as creative and unhinged as Mike Patton a 40-piece orchestra? Mondo Cane will never sell a fraction of what Angel Dust managed, and nor have any of his other records, from the funky scratch pop masterpiece General Patton vs the X-Ecutioners, to the bizarre sound effect laden Fantômas offering Delìrium Còrdia, which sounds like an early Doctor Who sound-effects montage without the guiding hand of Delia Derbyshire. But does Patton care about shifting units? Clearly the man don’t give a fuck.

SP: Hi Mike Patton, how are you?

MP: I’m alright. I’m at home in-between tours, recharging and writing some new music.

SP:You’re always writing new music.

MP: Well, that’s what I do.

SP: That’s your job.

MP: That’s my job!

SP: It’s a good job, too.

MP: It’s not bad. Ah, you know, some days I feel really lucky; other days I feel cursed.

SP: Like when you have to talk to journalists...

MP: Well, I don’t have to do that, and that’s something that I’m learning to get a little bit better at.

SP: It probably helps to sell records.

MP: Since I own a label it doesn’t hurt, you know. I’m not gonna be stupid about it. I put a record out, and I’m proud of it, but there are only a few things you can say about a record. You do so many interviews and then all of a sudden you feel a little bit, ah... a little bit stupid. I still do my best.

SP: Because you get asked the same questions all the time...

MP: Well, yeah, usually. I try to vary the answers and then I reach a point and then I give up! Basically you want to try and paint the best picture you can of the record — in words, which is really a losing battle.

SP: The old ‘dancing to architecture’ thing. I can’t remember who said it first. Maybe it was Elvis Costello...

MP: [Firmly] Frank Zappa. [The quote has famously been attributed to both.]

SP: So why the hell are we here?

MP: You do it for a living! I gotta put myself in your hands, you know...

SP: Speaking of doing things for a living, how do you cope in modern times when you own an independent label? Are you surviving?

MP: It’s still funky. When the rest of the industry was whining and complaining and wanting to slit their wrists, we were doing okay. But gradually it sort of made its way down the ladder to labels like us and we’ve become much more careful about what we do — not necessarily musical-content-wise, because we’re not putting out top 40 records, nor were we EVER — but what we have to be careful about is how many records we do a year. We’ve had to cut back our release schedule quite a bit to ensure we’re not going to lose money. It’s unfortunate and horrible to say, but sometimes just the manufacturing costs of doing something are more than you get back in return, and you have to look at each situation in a different way.

SP: Not like the days when major labels were all hubris and cocaine and insanity.

MP: It was ridiculous. Even if you’re resourceful, it doesn’t mean you’re going to survive! It’s really gotten to that point. Everyone has to be smart. If you don’t have your head screwed on tight, things are gonna happen. There’ve been situations where we’ve been approached by artists who we’ve worked with in the past and that’s really difficult. You can’t just say, ‘No, we can’t put out your record, sorry. We already put one out! Obviously we love you to death and wanna support you...’ But you really just have to pick and choose. The thing that SUCKS is it has nothing to do with the musical quality — it has more to do with the AMOUNT of releases we do. ‘Maybe we can pass on that until next year.’ It’s the worst thing you can tell an artist and that’s a horrible position to be in, and not one that I envisioned myself in when starting a label.

SP: So, Mondo Cane. Unfortunately I’ve only had the chance to listen to it twice...

MP: That’s enough!

SP: I might play it some more times. Or maybe quite a few more. When Delìrium Còrdia came out it was great, but I probably only listened to it twice.

MP: That’s twice more than I listened to it.

SP: You put records out under various guises, but not with Mike Patton stamped on them...

MP: It’s a personal record. And I thought I could easily call it Mondo Cane and nobody would know what the hell it was. I felt like it was a significant enough part of me that I could put my name on it. It’s something I conceived and executed pretty much from the beginning to the end. It is MY record and I don’t feel any shame in it.

SP: I didn’t mean it negatively. Peeping Tom, for instance, is a collaborative record with artists like Kool Keith and Kid Koala and other people with the letter K alliterated in their name...

MP: The Peeping Tom record was as much mine as the Monde Cane record is mine. I just CHOSE to use a moniker instead of my name. The difference with this record is that it’s personal to me, and it’s something I felt I had to do to sort of take a snapshot of a certain point in my life and move on.

SP: Your Italian sounds fabio to a man who doesn’t speak Italian. You’re a bit of a multi-linguist, right?

MP: I speak Spanish, but not as great as I used to. Spanish, Italian and English. That’s it.

SP: I tried learning French because I wanted to know all the dirty things Serge Gainsbourg was saying...

MP: Ha ha, exactly.

SP: But it’s difficult learning a new language.

MP: Look, certain people are attracted to that kind of thing. I think you have to have ears, to be honest with you. And the fact that I’m a musician gives me an unfair advantage. I don’t have to sit down with a bunch of workbooks or DVDs. I’m not being cocky here, but to me the best way to learn a language is to go somewhere, stay there for a long time and listen. You know, LISTEN!

SP: I have ears. But people can’t afford to just up and leave and go somewhere...

MP: I can’t afford it either. What I’m saying is, if you’re interested in something, you just go there. And you tell all of your friends, ‘Don’t speak to me in English.’ And you sink or swim, you know what I’m saying? The reason I learned Italian is not because I’M A RICH ROCK STAR and was staying on some YACHT somewhere. No, it was because I decided to live there a while and I lived in an apartment — you know, shitty, hot apartment with no A/C — and loved every minute of it. When you dive into something like that head first, it’s always exciting and exhilarating in some weird way, but you have to take something away from it, and what I took away was the language and also maybe this record.

SP: Italian is beautiful, but nobody else really speaks it, do they?

MP: Well, there’s a few colonies in Africa that might beg to differ...

SP: I don’t want to dismiss huge swathes of the world, but you know, apart from them...

MP: Ha ha ha. Other than that, no. It’s basically only spoken in Italy.

SP: So you took the album title from a film title. I’ve not seen Mondo Cane or subsequent movies. Was the film a direct influence on the record or did you just like the name?

MP: The name is great. It’s an old saying. And the film was taken from that saying. But also, I’m not gonna lie, I really love the connotation or the provocation of the film title as well because it’s very well known. I thought it gave a nice edge to this music. I wanted an Italian title — to me, that seemed like a very good fit. At least one that would make people’s eyebrows go up.

SP: Ennio Morricone is on there. And Connie Francis, too.

MP: Ha ha. You see I don’t even know [the Connie Francis] version. I mean, I know it a little bit. Even though I’m an American kid and I should have known that version, I knew the Italian version first. There are weird anomalies like that that make you wonder, ‘Where did I grow up in my past life? Or what did I do?’ Yeah, that Connie Francis thing — I’ve heard it, like, twice. Didn’t make an impression on me AT ALL. When I listened in Italy and I heard the original, I FLIPPED OUT! Absolutely, completely spun my head around. So there you go — it’s really hard to define what started where or who made what famous. It’s really more about ‘What’s the soul of this music and how can I execute it the best way I can?’

SP: On the new record, you have a 40-piece orchestra according to the press release...

MP: That’s true. Does it sound like it? I mean, you’ve heard it...

SP: Yes. It sounds big.

MP: Then why are you asking me?

SP: Because I don’t trust press releases.

MP: Then why do you read them?

SP: Er, I don’t usually.

MP: Yeah, yeah, I’ll lay off now.

SP: What I’m wondering is, is playing with an orchestra the greatest fun in the whole world ever?

MP: It is fun. It’s trying, though. It’s weird. It’s different. From someone that’s come up playing in four-piece rock bands, it’s very exotic. But, at the end of the day, the personal dynamics are not much different. [Puts on ‘Land of Sunshine’ voice] ‘Everybody needs to be happy / Everybody needs their space’. In a sense, it feels more like a film production, as opposed to a concert, and it can be pretty stressful. ‘Hey, that first violinist is a pain in the ass. What can we do to make him happy? What can we do to make him play better?’ You end up thinking a little more like a politician. Or, I dunno, a masseuse. Ha ha. You wanna make sure everyone’s happy and playing at their best.

SP: And you’re going to take everyone with you when you tour?

MP: No. I HAVE to scale it down and the way I’m doing that is to scale the band back a little bit and the orchestra is basically cut down to half. With my arranger, I’m re-writing all the arrangements for the smaller ensemble. It was an absolute must if I wanted to tour this thing. It’s a crazy endeavour.

SP: Half an orchestra is still quite a lot.

MP: Oh, it’ll be great. It’ll still have the effect, it’s just certain tunes and certain moments will be different than how they are on the record. It’s actually kind of exciting — one more version of this music.

SP: You tend to conduct with bands you’re in. Will you be waving the proverbial baton at these shows?

MP: A little bit. Even if I’m not the conductor, I sort of end up doing it because it’s a natural instinct. The instinct turns itself into a bodily movement. When I’m on stage, I know what has to happen at a certain point, and I want to make sure everyone knows. I’m in a fortunate position in that I’m in front and everyone can see me. More than being close to the crowd, it’s more important for me to be a signpost for the band.

SP: The first time I saw you do it, you looked like you might kill someone if they got something wrong, in a similar way to how Don Van Vliet of Captain Beefheart used to hold a crossbow to his musicians’ heads when they were practising.

MP: Ha ha. That was probably Fantômas. In Fantômas, I’m really, you know, the conductor.

SP: Was curating All Tomorrow’s Parties fun?

MP: It was amazing, yeah — one of the better festival experiences I’ve had in my life — not just because they gave me some creative control, but because of the way it was organised and the way they dealt with the artists. It was pure pleasure. But Butlins was a drag.

SP: As an American, do you get Butlins?

MP: Oh no, it’s weird for us. I mean, I understand it now because it’s been explained to me 1,000 times. There are these vacation homes, where we go... Yeah, yeah, it’s bizarre, we don’t have that.

SP: It is weird, I’ll give you that.

MP: It’s an English thing and that’s fine, you know. I mean, I GET IT, but I don’t get it. Ha ha ha.

SP: It’s what makes us British, like sodomy and bad teeth.

MP: The concept is just a little bizarre to me, like people should all go to vacation in the same place.

SP: We don’t understand why you all go to a mall.

MP: See? There you go. It’s a social concern, what we’re talking about here. Different social behaviours. And it usually involves the congregation of many people in one spot. Yeah, for us it’s malls. They scare the crap out of me as well.

SP: We’re getting more of them. It’s the dissemination of American culture. It’s unstoppable.

MP: Really? I would have thought you guys would have put up a better fight.

SP: It’s not my fault.

MP: No, no, I just thought Britain in general would resist that type of culture. I dunno...

SP: I’m always a bit disappointed we’re not more European, really.

MP: It’s funny, living in Europe. If I had a flight or something, or a gig, I’d be like ‘I’m getting an inter-European flight,’ people would be like, ‘Oh, where are you going?’ ‘London.’ And they’re like, ‘THAT AIN’T FUCKEN’ EUROPE!’ Everyone in Italy would say, ‘Waddaya talkin’ about?’ I guess I see what you mean.

SP: That said, I think London is fine. It’s best not to go anywhere else in the UK if you can help it, though…

MP: I would, ahhh, I guess I’d agree with you. I mean, there’s some cool places, but you’ve gotta have time and you’ve gotta have the patience. I’ve never really been able to put those two things together. London or nothing, ha ha ha.

SP: You voiced a character in Metalocalypse. Was that a one-off or are you in it?

MP: No, no, I just did a voiceover for one, maybe two or three episodes. But that’s it. I’m not a part of it.

SP: And you’ve been doing other voiceover work here and there. I guess that must be fun, right?

MP: It is fun! It’s challenging and weird and it’s kind of more akin to improv, as opposed to showing up with a script and being like a union musician with his coffee break every 15 minutes. That’s what I thought it would be more like. It’s more like an improv gig. They’ll say, ‘Hey, we’ve got this idea, whaddya think? Here’s the script but if you wanna go off it, fine,’ and it always ends up being a little bit edgy and a little bit unpredictable and you don’t know what’s going to happen from one moment to the next. For instance, I did voices on that movie I Am Legend and basically we talked about it and we talked about it, I got this, I got that, but the way it really ended up working was they put a giant film screen in the studio and just played me the movie. I was just sitting there with a microphone trying to imitate what the monsters were doing. As crazy as that sounds, that was the most effective way we could get it to work.

SP: You’ve got a great job.

MP: It’s alright, man! I’m not feeling bad about it. Not today.

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