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Papercuts man no good at taking a shredding

“You can have what you want,” Papercuts’ Jason Quever sings on the title track of his third album. Only what he means is, you can’t. “You grow up hearing that you can have whatever you want, but there are so few people who are actually at peace,” the San Franciscan explains over his morning coffee. “I think it’s just the limitations of humanity: why happiness is so elusive, when it seems so simple.”

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Once bitten Camera Obscura not twice shy

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Labels. There’s a weird mix of caustic self-deprecation and wounded pride among the six members of Glasgow’s Camera Obscura, and one begins to suppose much of it has to do with labels. Like the one imposed by the British press around the time of 2006’s breakthrough LP Let’s Get Out Of This Country, about the band staking its claim as the new Belle & Sebastian.

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Prince Zimboo providing a royal road to learning with track about fish making splish splish

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Ever wondered why the sea’s salty? It’s because the octopus is getting naughty. So says Prince Zimboo on his brilliant signature track, ‘To The Rescue’. He doesn’t drink water because fish have sex in it and he’s always grinning. Sound unusual? You should see him at a funeral. He’s already saved Bobby from Whitney and now he’s going to save you. If you ignore the message in his song, you are like “masturbating fish”. Heh.

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Whores of the 21st Century caught out by Lizard Sting, cough up $5m

Jim Morrison is the messiah, and Ray Manzarek and Robby Krieger are very naughty boys. Following a bitter legal dispute with the Morrison estate, the two have been forced to shell out a whopping $5m in legal fees and can no longer trade under their original band name, The Doors.

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Rock impostors exposed as lying Kuntz

There are a lot of funny people about. As the rancid celebrity bubble swells further, it seems the Walter Mittys of this world want in on the action, especially in the heavy rock game. Recently there have been a series of strange events where unknowns have posed as metal icons in a bid to further their own ends. One of the more bizarre stories comes from Ontario, Canada, where a speeding driver conned police into believing he was David Lee Roth to try and convince them not to bust him for throttling along. What makes the story even more peculiar is the fact the impostor claimed to have a nut allergy, hence his need to put peddle to the metal. The ruse somehow worked, and it wasn’t until an undercover rocker at the station noted David Lee Roth was actually playing Madison Square Garden with Van Halen that night that questions were asked.

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Up Before The Beak

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More major shake-ups at the labels

Not content with assassinating the character of Ken Livingstone and helping to thrust celebrity toff Boris Johnson on beleaguered Londoners, the capital’s rag now seems to have it in for music supremo Guy Hands of EMI. As reported in the last issue, Hands conducted a meeting unaware an Evening Standard hack was taking minutes at the adjacent table, and now the paper has recently published a piece calling Hands the “muso-Antichrist”, while delighting in reporting that a million unsold copies of Robbie William’s Rudebox are now being recycled and used as a foundation for a new Chinese dual-carriageway. The paper reports widespread disenchantment among its artists, and questions decisions at the top, including replacing experienced EMI veteran Tony Wadsworth, who was the recipient of an emotional speech by Damon Albarn at his leaving do, with a Reckitt Benckiser marketing man whose products included Cillit Bang, Strepsils and Mr. Muscle.

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Drowned in Sound and sister sites still waving despite BSkyB dropping their funding

For many, music writing has been compromised as the nature of the music industry has changed, but more pertinently it’s the rise of internet music journalism that has had the most damaging consequences for print. Now online faces its own choppy waters, with Drowned in Sound undergoing something of an overhaul, its staff forced to walk the plank due to problems with funding. Its sister music sites The Quietus, The Lipster and Thrash Hits seek salvation elsewhere, like lifeboats chartering the stormy drink. The Quietus, which since its launch not long ago has seen its figures shoot through the roof thanks to a combination of gritty, incisive writing, a very public spat with Metallica and the revival of Mr. Agreeable, perhaps stands the best chance of making it to land.

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The Stool Pigeon

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News

Papercuts man no good at taking a shredding

Once bitten Camera Obscura not twice shy

Prince Zimboo providing a royal road to learning with track about fish making splish splish

Whores of the 21st Century caught out by Lizard Sting, cough up $5m

Rock impostors exposed as lying Kuntz

Up Before The Beak

More major shake-ups at the labels

Drowned in Sound and sister sites still waving despite BSkyB dropping their funding