Unsigned noise

Send your work of genius through the ears of The Stool Pigeon to the address on the contact page. Please mark the envelope ‘Demo’.

Anyone remember Alf – that American sitcom with the weird little alien of the same name that possessed one heck of a hooter? Well, thankfully, the UK band ALF aren’t half as irritating or kooky. With vocalist Christine Leach doing her best Martina Topley-Bird impression, this acoustic-based album, Suicide Is The Last Thing On My Mind, is a summery affair full of light guitar strumming and trip-hop-meets-dinner-party-music appeal. But with summer well and truly over and the Bristol effect making its impact nearly a decade ago, perhaps ALF should find some new ground to tread.
myspace.com/alfuk

With a name like MODEL HORROR, you’d expect some truly god-awful monstrosity that would have you running straight for the hills with knitting needles in hand to pierce your eardrums. So it’s with some surprise that this bunch from Hitchin are more than a little bit marvellous. Think the Klaxons’ disco beats, ¡Forward, Russia!’s urgency and Bloc Party without all of Kele Okereke’s ‘I’m really rather profound, aren’t I?’ bull and you’d be close to deciphering what makes this demo so feisty. Model Horror are onto a winner.
myspace.com/themodelhorror

What with your Kate Nashes and Jamie Ts blotting the musical landscape of late, pop punk has had a bit of time off. But, by golly do those fires still burn among the loins of five young lads from Birmingham. Enjoy is the latest EP from SKATCH, which sounds like some kind of rash, eh? It’s fast and furious in the only way adolescent boys knows how and will most likely be embraced by fans of Capdown and Blink 182. Oh and there’s a trombone in there somewhere too. How fancy.
myspace.com/skatch

Another group that will also be more than happy to get the wind up you is THE SUNDOWN SINNERS, whose syncopated sax and ska guitar skiffles are paired with a vocal that is uncanny to a young Paul Weller. ‘Absolute Absolution’ possesses the kind of tracks that are the perfect recipe for nostalgia-hungry Mods. Not bad if you like that sort of thing, but far too retrogressive for my liking.
sundownsinners.co.uk

We chatted about this dude on the demos’ page a few issues back, but SWEDE MASON deserves notable mention once again for his pure, fucking brilliance. ‘I Jungle All The Way’ is a track that samples none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger in Christmas flick Jingle All The Way. Screaming, “Put that cookie down” alongside some bonkers jungle and drum’n’bass, the Republican governor of California would do well to have this ditty accompany him on next campaign trail. Track two is even better. ‘Schofield On Crack’ marries the This Morning theme tune with the affable Phil rabbiting about the naughty stuff. Swede Mason, we salute you!
soundtrack.com/swedemason

GRAMMATICS have provided a picture of themselves with this demo and the quartet from Leeds look like a bunch of tidy, twee indie kids. They sound, however, indie without the tidiness and tweeness. Thank goodness. According to their MySpace page they resemble “drunken macabre gypsy cabaret”. I don’t know what gypsy cabaret sounds like (a night out soundtracked by nut nut Richard O’Brien maybe?) so I’ll take their word for it. Lead singer Owen Brinley’s falsetto can be a bit overbearing in places but accompanied by some agit-y drums and guitar, he makes for a more interesting listen.
myspace.com/grammatics

Like Huggy Bear and Nirvana before them, Leeds duo ANGRY FLOSS are carving a path of cynical and aggressive punk and grunge that sounds pretty sinister in places. But I can’t help thinking there’s an element of Shampoo thrown into the mix for good measure, what with stage names like Trixie Malixie and Dee Soda. This has a certain appeal that Tiger Force fans might feel akin to, but I do wonder if Angry Floss took a few beta blockers and became Happy Floss they might stumble across a sound that’s a little less derivative of their musical heroes of yore.
myspace.com/angryfloss

With the likes of King Creosote and Alasdair Roberts flying the flag high for Scottish country folk, Edinburgh’s RANDAN DISCOTHEQUE is in good company. ‘I Am The Singer You Are The Song’ is an emotive and evocative record that displays Craig Coulthard’s masterful song-crafting skills, even though tracks like ‘The Prince Must Go To Iraq’ sounds a tad on the preachy side. Nonetheless, Randan Discotheque is surely a talent that deserves greater notoriety.
myspace.com/randandiscotheque

There must be something in the water up north because this is the third Leeds-based band reviewed here. Big up Leeds! UNSPEAKABLE EASELS think they sound “Mogwai-esque”, but their instrumental arrangements are a little more orthodox than the Glasgow quintet. They’re probably more akin to a laid back Kubichek! or a more chilled-out Four Tet – only they’re nothing like Kieran Hebdon either because their songs have words and some of them are just plain weird. I don’t know what the hell you’re chatting about on ‘Graduate Dub’ boys, but if stuck with songs like ‘Paper Aeroplane Runway’ I may have less of a headache
myspace.com/unspeakableeasels

OUR PICK FOR THE FAT ADVANCE: I got through about 1 per cent of the demos sent in before print time, but it probably wouldn’t have made any difference: Swede Mason’s two tracks aren’t just the picks of this page, they’re the picks of the whole damn issue. Give that loon some money!!!

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